On being more than music

Sometimes my mind drifts back to those times you shared your music.

Chaotically flipping from song to song. Half caught up in the song when the memory of another song comes, pushing you to switch mid way. Caught up in your excitement to show me more. Each new one reminding you of another.

This look in your eyes as they flit from song to song to the search to find just the right one you want to show me.

So too did my mind flip between The excitement of sharing what brings you comfort and happiness, and discovering yet another side that makes up who you are.

But sandwiched between those moments the realization that at least part of it is not really having someone who would listen. Someone there to show a genuine interest. Someone who understood the darkest depths of your thoughts and still sat there patiently listening as you bare that part of yourself. No other commitments or divided attention, just someone genuinely present in the moment to listen to how each song means so much to you. Or how you discovered it. Or how you met them. Or how you wish you could see them.

But those thoughts melt away into the excitement of the next moment you want to share another song.

I’m more excited to share new moments anyway. Always ready to hear the past as a silent witness or an active participant in breaking it down and taking away its fangs from your veins and mind. But always willing to tip the scales on the side of good memories we can create.

And so I file away that past to help me better understand you but maintain my focus on the moment. Taking in the little cracks at the corner of your eyes just before you find the right song, leading to that grin of yours that stays tattooed on my mind. That grin I would do anything to see as many times as I can.

Such a small thing, just some wires and sounds that mean so much more as your past is buried under your present. Now a shared weight not so heavy, or a lifting joy that carries us both.

It’s not the future that preoccupies my mind after all, but all the little moments forged in the moment that I file away, like little keepsakes to cherish.